Tuesday | September 19, 2017
NY Mayor de Blasio Enlists Tom Selleck To Quell Turmoil

NEW YORK (CAP) - Anxious to "calm the calm down" in his city, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio has engaged the help of A-list celebrity Tom Selleck to try to smooth relations between police and disgruntled residents. de Blasio said other cities "could learn a thing or two" from New York.

"A good leader knows his shortcomings," de Blasio said. "And I know I don't have the charisma to unite this city, so I found someone who does."

Selleck will reprise his role as police Chief Frank Reagan from the hit TV series Blue Bloods, dressing and staying in character as he meets with real police and community leaders to discuss their concerns. Many with whom CAP News spoke agree that an actor reading scripted lines is a step up from the city's current leadership.

"I was totally just about to off this convenience store when Magnum started talking about how we're all family 'n shit," said Brooklyn resident Lester Ford. "So instead of pistol whipping the clerk, I just tied his ass up on the floor."

Those who met with Selleck said that by the time the actor was done, they had forgotten what they were angry about to begin with and felt the need to go have a family dinner. However, others said they wished de Blasio had hired a different fake New York cop with a more candid approach, like Dennis Franz.

"Or even if Selleck had brought Donnie Wahlberg along, that would have been cool," said protester Olivia McDaniels. "I mean, who can stay mad with a New Kid right there?"

With years of anger and trust issues between minorities and law enforcement finally put to rest, de Blasio plans to turn his attention to the city's homeless situation. Aides say he has calls placed to Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O'Donnell and Queen Latifah in the hopes that one of them will be able to "offer up just the witty yet inspirational pep talk" that the homeless need.

"Bill is really pulling for Rosie, what with her New York roots," said de Blasio staffer Erin Young. "Besides, with her tough love approach, who wouldn't feel compelled to kick the homeless habit?"

The mayor's office confirmed that Selleck will be available for photo-ops between protest appearances, but noted that any black males getting within five feet of the actor will first need to be frisked.

- CAP News Staff

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