Saturday | July 22, 2017
Obama To Guest Host Episode Of Barefoot Contessa

EAST HAMPTON, NY (CAP) - Following his successful stint filling in for Stephen Colbert, President Obama has agreed to host an upcoming episode of Barefoot Contessa as part of his new Versatility Tour 2014. The president reportedly selected the menu completely on his own.

"We will be serving up a special dish for those who, like me, suffer the, uhh, ravages of acid reflux," Obama said. "But we will keep some Tums on hand just in case."

White House officials were quick to point out that Obama did not choose the cooking show, that Contessa herself Ina Garten contacted them about the guest appearance. Press Secretary Josh Earnest said the president really enjoys "the eating part of cooking more than the cooking part of cooking" and would have preferred to sub in for Guy Fieri on Diners, Drive-Ins And Dives.

"Truth be told, I was actually hoping to be the, uhh, first sitting president to be eaten alive by a giant Anaconda," Obama said. "But wildlife experts could not find a snake large enough to get its jaws around my ears."

CAP News sources inside the White House say the First Lady is none too pleased about the television appearance, apparently feeling threatened by her husband potentially partaking in another woman's healthy treats.

"If she thinks she can woo my man with her leafy greens and creamy chicken, I'll whup her ass - yes I will," Michelle reportedly told a staffer. "He eats my chitlins or he eats none at all, mm-hmm!"

The president said that after his debut on The Food Network, he's going to take a television hiatus to "chill" and "run the country for a while." However, he did not rule out a guest appearance on the upcoming Fox special, A Very Ferguson Christmas.

- CAP News Staff

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