Friday | November 24, 2017
New Verizon FIOS Package Records Every Channel All The Time

NEW YORK (CAP) - Verizon has fired the latest salvo in its ongoing battle with Comcast, now offering consumers a FIOS package that simply records every channel all the time. The company calls it their Hoarders Delight plan.

"With this package, you don't have to make the grueling decision which 12 of your favorite shows that are all on at the same time you can record," said Verizon President of Product and New Business Innovation Marni Walden, referring to the Comcast Xfinity package that allows customers to record up to a dozen shows at once. "As always, Verizon is one step ahead of you.

"All you have to decide is what other parts of your life you're going to totally tank so you have time to watch everything," she added.

Unlike conventional packages that limit the number of recorded shows a consumer can keep based on the size of the DVR hard drive, Verizon Hoard saves every show for all of eternity unless the user deletes them.

"However, we strongly recommend against deleting anything because you just never know," said Walden. "Although I'm not sure when you'd actually have time to re-watch anything. You're going to have a lot of TV to catch up on."

While the cost of the package is a bit pricier than the other deals that Verizon offers, the company is giving new subscribers a substantial monthly savings with an eight-year agreement. Verizon officials noted that Hoard does not replace On Demand, which remains a free service for customers who pay a subscription fee.

"And the great part is you don't have to turn in your old DVR for a bigger one because all of the shows are just recorded up in the Cloud, where everyone knows space is unlimited," said Senior Vice President of Operational Excellence Nancy Clark. "That way, you can access all of your shows on all of your devices, which you'll need to do if you have any hope of keeping pace with everything TV has to offer."

To assist customers with maintaining the necessary torrid pace of television watching, Verizon is also offering the ADHD add-on, which automatically flips through all of the channels in 15-second increments while each show's synopses scrolls across the bottom of the screen.

"Unfortunately, technology has not caught up to our great ideas and the audio in that package is a bit of a jumbled mess," said Walden. "Since light travels faster than sound, by the time your brain deciphers the audio anyway, you've already moved onto the next show."

Meanwhile, Comcast officials say their company is working on yet another package that offers customers unparalleled access to "any episode of any television show in the history of broadcasting" just by humming the show's theme song into their mobile device. Xfinity Telekinesis will be available in most major markets as early as next month.

- CAP News Staff

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