Wednesday | December 17, 2014
Texas To Execute 15 For Charity

DALLAS (CAP) - Texas officials are reportedly mulling over plans to turn its energetic execution program into a lottery-type system that would benefit state charities, according to an anonymous Texas Corrections Department source.

The lottery would only cover 15 executions, initially.

"Nothing is set in stone at this point, but yes, it is being considered," said the official. "The current plan on the table is to use the state lottery structure to sell tickets, then we'd have a drawing, then we'd get an Executioner For The Day."

The EFTD would be responsible for pushing the buttons necessary for the lethal injection mechanism to work.

"This would be a great opportunity for those looking to see the process up close, and charities like Toys For Tots would benefit greatly," he added.

The official denied that the program would be called The Slaughtery or that the electric chair would be reintroduced to increase ticket sales.

If approved by the Texas Corrections Department and the governor, the first tickets could go on sale within six months.

- Rich Gray
Contributing Writer

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The National Association for the Advancement of Colored Double Amputees launches nationwide protests against police brutality of unarmed black men «» CIA sends 200 agents to UDC Community College for waterboarding refresher course to prepare for up and coming international terrorist groups «» Nation's blacks unsure who to turn to for sage advice on Ferguson situation now that Bill Cosby is just a sexual predator «» More Americans feeling compelled to visit relatives over the holidays due to falling gas prices, wish gas stayed above $3 per gallon just until the holidays were over «» Detroit celebrates exiting bankruptcy with subprime mortgages for the first 10,000 unqualified homebuyers who can falsify a loan application in under 60 seconds «» NHL puts rest of season on hiatus due to widespread case of the sniffles, says rinks are "too chilly for these princesses" «» Congress asks Santa Claus for 2015 budget for Christmas, or collectible Hess trucks and some ribbon candy if that's more practical «» Senate Intelligence Committee releases another scathing report detailing how President George W. Bush used to cheat at Parcheesi during White House Friday night game nights «» New report finds 95% of lemon-flavored candy tastes like Pledge. Another report finds that a surprising number of people have tasted Pledge. «» Obama apologizes for the miscommunication, says Chuck Hagel is "getting down" to a funky beat, not "stepping down" and vacating his seat «»