NORTHFIELD, Ill. (CAP) - America's thumbless population has joined together in a class action suit against Kraft Foods Inc., claiming that the boxes for the company's popular Mac & Cheese product are discriminatory.
"Life without thumbs is difficult enough without having to forgo the delicious cheesiness of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese," said Cary Bernstein of the firm Schneider Wallace Cottrell Brayton Konecky, who is representing America's thumbless. "But apparently the powers that be at Kraft only care about the thumbed."
Opening a box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese requires the insertion of a thumb, either left or right, into a perforated tab, at which point the top panel of the box can be removed.
"Sometimes I spend hours just staring at that tab, thinking of the cheesiness," said Doreen Ball, a thumbless woman from Freehold, N.J. taking part in the suit.
Bernstein, who collected millions for clients in a class action lawsuit that claimed New Year's Rockin' Eve was not actually rockin', said he has high hopes for his current clients as well. "And if this goes well, we may sue America's doorknob manufacturers too," he added.
- CAP News Staff