Tuesday | September 19, 2017
Celebrities Relieved Olympics Are Finally Over
Celeb debonair Paris Hilton displays her mad grammar and spelling skills as she welcomes the end of the Olympics in this recent Twitter pic.

HOLLYWOOD (CAP) - Now that the 2012 London Games have finished, celebrities across the nation are breathing a sigh of relief that the days of intense news coverage of talented Olympic athletes are finally over.

"There has been a media blackout on celebrity news for the last two weeks," said style blogger Trudy Parish. "I don't even know what color Katy Perry's hair is anymore. I'm so glad the Olympics are finally done so we can get back to what really matters: pictures of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian walking down the street with lattes."

Riveted as they were by the many compelling stories of this year's Olympic athletes, many Americans did not seem to notice that they were no longer being inundated by tabloid accounts of Katie Holmes's trips to Whole Foods, or endless speculation on Lady Gaga's upcoming nail polish line.

"Listen, right now, if you haven't trained nine hours a day for four years in a tiny village in Kenya, or recovered from a horrific diving accident just in time to qualify for the Olympic finals, nobody in the press really gives a crap about you," news analyst Chet Davis told NBC's Bob Costas on day seven of the Games.

He added, "Come back in a week and maybe then we'll interview you about what an amazing experience it was filming The Odd Life Of Timothy Green."

Sources say the lack of fawning media attention during the Olympic games has left many celebrities feeling lonely and unloved.

"Last week Lindsay Lohan left [Vegas Nightclub] PURE without paying her $600 tab," an unnamed friend of the actress told CAP News. "But right then the world was too busy breathlessly following the sensational victories of [Jamaican sprinter] Usain Bolt, so nobody really noticed."

Lohan later set herself on fire outside a Prada outlet in Desert Hills, but according to bystanders, "the fire department didn't even bother to show up for several hours, let alone TMZ."

Many celebrities apparently decided that if they couldn't beat the public's massive interest in the Olymipcs, they may as well join it, sending tweets to favored athletes and chasing down reporters so they could discuss their own reactions to watching the Games unfold.

"Seeing [Paralymic athlete Oscar] Pistorius race in the Olympic semifinals was almost as exciting as the fact that my new album is dropping soon," singer Taylor Swift told an NBC News reporter last week, as he backed away slowly.

Although some celebrities are left worrying that their ranks may be permanently joined by such rising Olympic stars as gymnast Gabby Douglas and swimming phenomenon Missy Franklin, history has shown that the excitement and interest generated by Olympic athletes tends to be relatively short-lived, based as it is on actual achievements, rather than pure egoism, which is much more sustainable in the long term.

- Molly Schoemann
Contributing Writer

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