Monday | May 30, 2016
New York Mafia Lowers Lending Rate To 200%

NEW YORK (CAP) - In a move that could help reduce operating costs from shake downs yet maintain maximum profitability from outstanding vigs, the New York crime family syndicate is easing credit requirements on shylock loans made to businesses and individuals throughout the five burroughs and parts of New Jersey.

"The Commission is refining the approach we take to provide valuable protection services to our constituency throughout the greater New York area," Vittorio Amuso, reputed boss of the Lucchese family, said in a prepared statement. "Fewer broken knee caps reduces medical expenses, which thereby increases our income in the long term."

The program, which will begin with a test run involving two dozen businesses in Brooklyn with outstanding loans, will "strongly encourage" those business owners to make more timely payments with a lower interest rate of 200% in exchange for one of a number of favors at a later point in time. Analysts see the move as a win-win situation.

"The auto and banking industries should take some pointers from organized crime: you can correct your own freefall without the government's help," said Goldman-Sachs analyst Mark Bonney. "Fewer businesses defaulting on shylock loans means fewer heavies each family has to employ to carry out contracts."

It's also an ideology that should have a positive rippling effect as well. Bonney noted that fewer hits means less of a need for the large trunks of Cadillacs and Lincolns, which could result in a move by the Mafia to drive more fuel-efficient vehicles like Subarus and Hyundais, saving both on gas and clean-up costs.

"It's an economic stimulus approach that everyone can get behind," Bonney added.

Endeavors by the Five Families to boost growth in the money laundering sector are a precondition for the Mafia's overall recovery, which means a number of additional steps will likely need to be taken to prevent further delays in the economic rebound. Acting boss Daniel Leo said the Genovese family is leading efforts to go green.

"Asking the Borgata to be socially and environmentally responsible is a critical piece of how we're going to survive financially," said Leo. "We are taking every reasonable step to reduce our blood footprint in the city."

If economic recovery efforts by organized crime are successful, it could very well have ramifications in legit businesses as well, with kickbacks and bribes to public and other officials increasing in size and frequency with a more positive Mafia cash flow. However, economists warn that it could be months before any substantial effect is felt by those on the pad.

- CAP News Staff

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