Saturday | August 29, 2015
Courtney Love Credits Hard Drugs For Weight Loss
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MAUI, Hawaii (CAP) - In an exclusive interview with CAP News, Courtney Love has come clean about exactly what steps she took to recently lose over 40 pounds. The former Hole singer admits that a strict regiment of hardcore drug use is completely to credit for her massive weight loss.

"You make it sound so bad," Love told CAP News Hawaiian correspondent Yoshi Tanaka poolside at the holiday resort Kea Lani. "But look at it this way: I'm still sober. Haven't touched a drink. Of course, if I mixed alcohol with any of these, I'd probably go all Anna Nicole."

By "these," Love was referring to the assortment of hypodermic needles and various colored liquids that sit on her patio table, alongside a Diet Coke and a smattering of pills. As she speaks, she paws through the pills, grabs a red and a yellow one, and slugged them down.

"Who are you again?" Love asked Tanaka, who proceeded to calmly explain for the fifth time that he was not there to photograph her boobs. "But look at these! No surgery at all. All these scars? They're totally natural, and totally mine."

Love said she's lost 44 pounds so far, and hopes to lose 55 overall. However, she said she's not sure how well she'll be able to break the drug habit once she gets over 50, so that could become a lot more before all is said and done.

"Worse come to worse and I can't quit, I just add some pot to the mix," said Love as she ran her foot up Tanaka's leg. "Then I'll get the munchies and everything should even out fairly well."

Love also admitted that she understands no amount of weight loss can change the fact that she's still ugly as sin. As such, she said what money doesn't get pumped into her veins is going to straight to her face, "and I don't mean cosmetics and facials and other beauty crap," she added.

Love said she hasn't had this much positive attention since the time her image mysteriously appeared on a highway overpass in Omaha, Nebraska.

- CAP News Staff

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General Mills announces plans to discontinue its new cereal Diabeteos, acknowledges that the sugar content may be "a little high" «» Restaurant Mascots Association reports Jared Fogle no longer invited to summer outing, announces Grimace will bring the potato salad instead «» State Department investigation finds Hillary Clinton did email secret family recipes from her server, but either withheld or encrypted key ingredients «» Donald Trump is slamming White House plans to curb opioid addiction, saying it unfairly targets him and his supporters «» Restaurant Mascots Association reports Jared Fogle no longer invited to summer outing, announces Grimace will bring the potato salad instead «» State Department investigation finds Hillary Clinton did email secret family recipes from her server, but either withheld or encrypted key ingredients «» New survey finds most parents of young adult terrorists long for the days when kids were more apathetic and just played video games «» Dept Of Veteran's Affairs to pay benefits to thousands of Vietnam War veterans who may have been exposed to Jane Fonda in the early '70s «» Society For Gay Racists up in arms over typo that has South Carolina calling for removal of the state's confederate fag «» LeBron James challenges Golden State to double or nothing, winner take all game of HORSE «»