Thursday | January 29, 2015
Courtney Love Credits Hard Drugs For Weight Loss
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MAUI, Hawaii (CAP) - In an exclusive interview with CAP News, Courtney Love has come clean about exactly what steps she took to recently lose over 40 pounds. The former Hole singer admits that a strict regiment of hardcore drug use is completely to credit for her massive weight loss.

"You make it sound so bad," Love told CAP News Hawaiian correspondent Yoshi Tanaka poolside at the holiday resort Kea Lani. "But look at it this way: I'm still sober. Haven't touched a drink. Of course, if I mixed alcohol with any of these, I'd probably go all Anna Nicole."

By "these," Love was referring to the assortment of hypodermic needles and various colored liquids that sit on her patio table, alongside a Diet Coke and a smattering of pills. As she speaks, she paws through the pills, grabs a red and a yellow one, and slugged them down.

"Who are you again?" Love asked Tanaka, who proceeded to calmly explain for the fifth time that he was not there to photograph her boobs. "But look at these! No surgery at all. All these scars? They're totally natural, and totally mine."

Love said she's lost 44 pounds so far, and hopes to lose 55 overall. However, she said she's not sure how well she'll be able to break the drug habit once she gets over 50, so that could become a lot more before all is said and done.

"Worse come to worse and I can't quit, I just add some pot to the mix," said Love as she ran her foot up Tanaka's leg. "Then I'll get the munchies and everything should even out fairly well."

Love also admitted that she understands no amount of weight loss can change the fact that she's still ugly as sin. As such, she said what money doesn't get pumped into her veins is going to straight to her face, "and I don't mean cosmetics and facials and other beauty crap," she added.

Love said she hasn't had this much positive attention since the time her image mysteriously appeared on a highway overpass in Omaha, Nebraska.

- CAP News Staff

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Texas appeals court upholds ruling that bans sale of home abortion kits, says instructional DVD not detailed enough and needs better actors «» New report finds 95% of lemon-flavored candy tastes like Pledge. Another report finds that a surprising number of people have tasted Pledge. «» Congress passes new 'Right To Lie' law for politicians with less than six months left to serve before re-election «» Patriots caught trying to sneak snow-making machine into University of Phoenix Stadium for competitive advantage during Super Bowl «» President Obama concludes trip through Midwest to explain salient points from State Of The Union for that part of the country that only reads at a third grade level «» Body of deceased Saudi King Abdullah bin Abdulaziz to be placed in high pressure kiln and turned into limited edition collectible crude oil «» US Capitol janitor confirms he did have to wake a sleeping Joe Biden from his seat behind the podium while cleaning up hours after the State Of The Union «» Boston judge pardons Mark Wahlberg for 1991 incident in which he attempted to impersonate a singer by releasing "Good Vibrations" «» NFL says if Patriots had deflated footballs, their punt would have wedged in Josh Cribbs' facemask, not bounced off of it «» The X-Files returning to Fox with all-new characters E-Cigarette Man, Dentures Man, and Edward Snowden as leader of the reconstituted Lone Gunmen «»