Saturday | November 22, 2014
OJ, Rather To Make Reality Show
Simpson and Rather talk over a missing cat case while waiting in line for donuts.

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. (CAP) - One is a seasoned newsman, a veteran of numerous political campaigns, brought down by the very industry he covered for 40 years. The other is an ex-football player, struggling, searching to find the murderer of his beloved ex-wife, a murder for which he was wrongly accused. Together, they're hooking up to create the most successful crime-fighting team since Starsky & Hutch.

Well, that's what Bravo is hoping, anyway. Provider of such ground-breaking reality programming as "Make Grandma A Ho" and "Dominatrix Dad", Bravo has signed Dan Rather and O.J. "Juice-E" Simpson to star in a new reality-based show this fall tentatively titled, "The Rather Juice-E Detective Agency".

"I'm as excited as a mudpuppy at a mayfly convention," Dan Rather recently told CAP News Entertainment Reporter Elisia Gibbons at a sit-down to promote the show. Rather's t-shirt, "The Frequency is 'CBS Sucks'," lends credibility to the rumors that his parting with his former network was something less than amicable.

"I'm with Dan," said O.J., himself clad in a "NWA" wife-beater. "This is a great opportunity, and it's just nice to be working agai - BITCH, WHERE BE MY COFFEE?! Sorry Elisia, I'm breaking in a new assistant. ACCENT ON BREAKING!"

Executive Producer David Kelly sees great potential in the pairing.

"On the one hand, you have a damaged, meek white guy. On the other, a damaged, raging Negro. What's not to love?" asked Kelly. "The dynamic of Rather's keen, investigative intellect and Simpson's ability to just fly off the handle and fuck someone up will have audiences desperate to tune in."

Bravo is counting on it, shelving a special "Kathy Griffin: D-List A-Hole" series to make way for "The Rather Juice-E Detective Agency." It will air Tuesdays at 9pm starting September 12.

- Rich Gray
Contributing Writer

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CBS airs pilot of new mini-series "Little Immigrant On The Prairie" instead of Obama speech, wins ratings for night «» CBS cancels new Bill Cosby show, "Women Make The Darnedest Allegations" «» NBC airs video of two dogs humping instead of Obama speech, asks viewers to pick which one represents legal American citizens «» ABC airs rerun of old Reagan speech instead of Obama address, panics nation into thinking Russia is going to bomb the U.S. «» Alternative taxi service Uber comes under fire for not disinfecting back seats after a different kind of "ride sharing" «» Conair ships 20,000 hairdryers to Buffalo so residents can begin melting their way out while still maintaining fabulous hair «» Pope Francis gives America nine months to "clean up your gays" ahead of his visit next fall «» Detroit celebrates exiting bankruptcy with subprime mortgages for the first 10,000 unqualified homebuyers who can falsify a loan application in under 60 seconds «» Quarterback Peyton Manning asks to join Detroit Lions "just for this week" so he can try one more time to beat the Patriots «» A survey of children under the age of six finds that most never thought they'd see the day when gas prices dropped below $3 per gallon «»