Monday | February 19, 2018
Russ Coleman, Famed Author Of Pithy Bumper Sticker Sayings, Dead At 83
The man credited with inventing the "Safety Is My Goal" and "How Is My Driving?" bumper stickers that spoke for a generation of livery drivers succumbed to injuries sustained after being rear-ended by a box truck
SeaWorld To Phase Out Anything Sea-Related, Will Reopen As 'World'
The newly revamped tourist attraction will feature a gift shop, a food court, and a stack of three-ring binders with pictures of fish that visitors can thumb through
Obama To Release Thousands Of Prisoners If They Promise To Vote Democrat
Federal government's plan to release thousands of non-violent prisoners contingent upon them to "remember what Uncle Barry did for you" and make sure they vote Democrat in the next election
Schools To Eliminate Letter Grades, Replace With Thumbs Up Icons
New education reform bill replaces D's and F's with frownie-face stickers to soften the blow and help kids "feel successful even in their failures"
Oliver North To Testify On Capitol Hill For Congressional TBT
Congressional oversight committee says it has "new information" and is reopening Iran-Contra investigation, will have Oliver North testify as soon as Hillary Clinton is done
Supreme Court Signs Reality Show Deal To Hear Cases In 'X-Factor' Format
Judge Judy to replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg on Supreme Court as part of effort to bring more wit and sarcasm to proceedings and appeal to 18-49 demographic
White House To Host 'Hardened Criminal Happy Hour' To Bridge Gap
President Obama invites kindergarten student to White House whose finger and thumb were mistaken for a gun at recess, but Secret Service has him wear a mitten on the hand "just in case"
Kim Davis Draws On Experience, Offers Gay Divorce Papers Instead
Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis now refuses to offer marriage licenses to straight couples, saying after three divorces she just doesn't believe in marriage at all anymore
Hillary Clinton Admits Emailing Secret Family Recipes
State Department investigation finds Hillary Clinton did email secret family recipes from her server, but either withheld or encrypted key ingredients
ISIS Takes Credit For Relatives Overstaying Welcome At Thanksgiving
Experts say the best way to combat this is to make Aunt Midge sleep on the pullout sofa which will wreak havoc on her sciatica and eventually force her to seek a better night's sleep at a local hotel
ISIS Takes Credit For Increased Cost Of Thanksgiving Dinner
Starbucks Introduces New Heathen Holiday Blend
Michigan Football Team Boycotts Game Over Ugly Cheerleaders
  • American Eagle To Stop Carrying "Pedophiles Aren't Made, They're Born" T-Shirts
  • McDonald's New Sharmel Shake Available Only For Limited Time
  • Next GOP Debate To Feature None Of The Candidates
  • Hewlett-Packard's Two New Companies Each Split Into Five More
  • Jasmine V Pregnant With Alien Love Child
  • Anti-Gun Pro-Climate Feminist Activists Say This Election Platform Made For Them
Ariz. Immigration Law Nabs Illegal Swedes, Poles, Etc.


AND ©2005-2018 BY CAP NEWS