Study: Most Can Only Name One Peter Frampton Album
The administrators of the study admit that nobody under the age of 40 even knew who Peter Frampton was and nobody under 30 even had any idea what an album was.
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Rock And Roll Hall Again Denies Johnny Bravo
The Hall claims Johnny Bravo is not eligible for induction as he never released an album.
Non-Asshole Discovered On Twitter
The instance in question is that of @montyQ22, who has been a Twitter member since 2008.
Coca-Cola, Pepsi To Start Using Less Battery Acid
Officials refute reports that the caramel coloring of the drinks causes stomachs to explode.
CAP NEWS BRIEFS
Senate Passes Keystone Lager Pipeline Bill
Speculation is that President Obama will veto the legislation because he prefers Guinness.
Mascot Battle Angers Raiders, Hebrews, Spics
The National Anti-Mascot Coalition is pushing for mascots that better represent all honkies.
Scientists Find 'Telephone Interrupt' Gene In Kids
Researchers say this explains why children are rude whenever a parent talks on the phone.
Over 100,000 New Year's Resolutions Broken This Week
The latest numbers coupled with all those already broken make this a record-setting year.
Spelling Bees To Start Allowing Misspelled Words
Under the new rules, entrants will not be told if they spelled their word correctly or not.
ISIS Draws Beards, Mustaches On American Currency
Business leaders are fearful of how this barbarity will affect the dollar's buying power.
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Employers Back Merit Based Contraception Coverage
Massachusetts Issues Lizza D Warning
Microsoft Unveils Long-Awaited eToilet
- Weapons-Grade Plutonium Price Hits All-Time High
- Scientists Discover Snow Turns Drivers Into Idiots
- Snowbound Commuters Use Kids To Hold Parking Spots
- Study Finds Most Clams Severely Depressed
- Cleanup Of Solar Energy Spill Underway In Montana
- Actor Reginald VelJohnson Still Wearing Cop Uniform
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